That's a dumb question! I'm a Yankee from New England and this is my home. I'm only going to Alabama to visit a good buddy. Personally, I like the Southern States and the people are very hospitable...sometimes.

I have a 19 year old daughter who moved to Savannah, Georgia. So last fall I drive down there and eventually locate her apartment. She opens her door and screams, "Oh my head, Dad what are you doing down here!" I said, "I came down to check up on you! I'm starved what do you have to eat and what the hell is there to do around this place!" It was great! She took me all around, even a cool place call Tybee Island (like Massachusetts, Cape Cod). Wow! Everyone should visit Savannah, Georgia.

But don't argue about the Civil War with these folks. Remember, General Sherman burned it down (Georgia, I thought he was an asshole to do that, war or no war) and some of these folks haven't forgotten either. I got into an argument with these three fella's, I mean us Yankee's won that war. Not according to these three fella's.

To make a long story short, the whole time I was there, I never saw one other vacationer from Massachusetts or even New England, not one!

I served aboard the USS Charles P. Cecil (DD 835) a Destroyer stationed out of Newport, Rhode Island. In the 1970's we were very fortunate to be selected by the United States Navy to go on a good will tour of the world.

Lifers are your 20 and 30 year career guys. They're the guts and glory of the military and what makes it run smoothly, especially when the shit hits the fan. Plain and simple, without these dedicated professionals (many are decorated hero's from previous wars) and their experience, America is dead in the water.

However, when the shit is not hitting the fan, these old warriors (lifers) have nothing better to do than scare the younger pups (18 & 19 year olds) with horror stories about the all bad things that can happen to you overseas and also stories about the women.

Eskimo stood about 4'10 inches tall, had the heart of a lion and weighed about 90 lbs soaking wet. He grew up in the old Eskimo traditions of Alaska and was a park ranger for Kodiak Island, they monitored camp sites and the sportsmen who hunted the worlds most dangerous bear. Like Eskimo told us, on some occasions it is the hunter who is never found again not the bear.

Back to the bait and switch. Eskimo had never had a woman and it was our sworn duty to see that his first one was memorable.

I believe we were in Brazil or Ethiopia. After an evening of search, lock and load, Bruce and I found Eskimo a brothel. It was a creepy old building with two huge wooden swinging doors. We banged on the door and an absolutely stunning women about 20 years old opened the door and in went Eskimo.

Well Bruce and I wait outside and figured this thing would be over in 15 minutes. Thirty minutes goes by and no Eskimo, 45 minutes and I'm asking Bruce what can he possibly be doing in there, he's just a little Eskimo? After ten more minutes I didn't care what he was doing, I tell Bruce we're the idiots and I'm going in that building to get my share.

The same beautiful woman opened the door, I went in and Eskimo, scared shitless and only in his underwear, ran past me right out the door. The young woman closed the door and for me the horror began. The oldest and ugliest woman I ever saw in my life, this woman was a real witch, smiled and started chasing me. I did the same thing Eskimo did, ran for my life, finally reached the door and got the hell out of there. Eskimo lost all his clothes and money, but I still had mine.

"It's time to go all out. Toe to toe. George pours out a long left, and I cross my right over it. Now I've got to lay it all down on the line. If the price of winning is a broken jaw, a smashed mouth, a cracked skull, a disfigured face, you pay it if you want to be King of The Heavyweights. If you want to wear the crown, you can play it careful only until you meet a man who will die before he lets you win. Then you have to lay it all on the line or back down and be damned forever.

I hear Kid Gavilan, the old Cuban Champion of a thousand fights, telling me, "Ali, the crowd'll push you on like they own a piece of you, like there's something in their life that depends on whether you live or die. And you'll get into something to deep to back down. You've been calling out, I'm the prettiest. I'm the greatest. See how pretty I am. Not a scratch! They laugh, but one day the people will test you out. They will send you into a den to take the meat out of the lion's mouth and see who comes out the prettiest. If you die trying, they'll be sorry for you, but if you back down, they'll remember you as a phony forever."

Angel graphics courtesy of Angel Realm