Over the last 5 years I have had people ask me "what was it like to be educated, have a good job making over $40,000 a year and be admitted to a psychiatric hospital"?
I have also received letters like the one below and from an adult. I will not name the person that sent it to me. I don't believe the letter was written with any malice or cruelty intended. I feel, instead, that it is a clear example that in the year 2002 we have not come very far at all with our understanding of mental illness.
I would like to make it clear that I was not admitted to both psychiatric hospitals, I volunteered. On both occasions I was very ill and my life was in danger. I volunteered to go in both hospitals to save my life, not take my life (it was a survival instinct). Indeed, both times I was alone and drove myself. Please read this carefully, the last time, it was a New Years eve, yes actually 1 o'clock in the morning.
I drove over 75 miles to a different state.
Both times, I was merely stalling for time, trying to stay alive until I could find a way out of the darkness.
Joe, did you see any of the truly crazy in the hospital? Also, did you see anyone that you would consider demon possessed? And did they treat you normally or did they speak slowly and act like you were slow. And finally, I would guess that just living there was enough to make a person contemplate suicide. Were you more depressed before or after you got there?
Name withheld.
The following is a letter given to me, while I was hospitalized, by a woman suffering mental illness for many years. It is indicative of the many courageous people I met in both hospitals. People, I might add, suffering indescribable pain and affliction.
The Letter 2
1/17/96
Joe,
I see you like a Roman Soldier, standing straight and true, awaiting your Commanding Officers orders. Well, your C.O. is now Jesus Christ and he has a special assignment and a special uniform for you. In Ephesians 6:13 we are commanded to use every piece of God's armor: a strong belt of truth, the shield of faith capable of quenching every fiery dart of the enemy, the breast plate of righteousness and the helmet of salvation, etc.
But most of all Joe, I feel God is putting shoes on your feet that will not only bring you peace but you will be able to bring that peace to others. You will carry the gospel of peace to others, Philippians 4:6.
Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything: tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank him for the answers...If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your heart quiet and at rest as you trust in Jesus Christ.
Your Friend,
Cindy Gilbert, PA
The night I received this letter from Cindy it strengthened my own resolve to somehow find a way to get better. If you were in my situation and received such a letter from a beautiful woman suffering unspeakable pain - what would you do?
I have never seen such faith and courage as I saw in Cindy every day in that hospital, and under such difficult adversity.
Wherever you are Cindy,
Thank you for your kind words.
Joe
PS Oh yes Cindy, please don't you worry about a thing.
